There’s a thread
That connects
To a just-tilted
World
It’s been carefully
Stitched
To my insides
Since birth
By a moon
Who worked quick
In the shadow
Of earth
My birth-blood
Still coats her
Occasionally
And I welcome
The tug
That aches
And pulls me
To the dark
Distant dreamer
She meant
Me to be
-me
The stillness of not yet
The pregnant intake of a breath
The pause of gossamered belief
The peace we borrow before grief
The fading dream till we forget
The weighted stillness of not yet
-Me
I do not quite know how
To plumb my newfound peace
For bits of beating gore
But have no fear
My famished pet
There’s tender horror in me yet
-Me
I hear the thrum
Of hummingbird wings
Ominous behind me
I want to turn
To meet her
And make petals
Of my salty flesh
To drain my veins
And feed her with
Any sweetness
I have left
-Me
A ribbon of the past
Danced across the sky
And I, I heaved and cried
For the vast expanse
Of all the things
That I will never know
-Me
A canopy
Of ravens
Sang cacophony
And called
Me out
Into the soft of day
Which hushed
And sank
Beneath my feet
And kept me
Still
Like live oak roots
Until the moss
Could fall and fill
All empty hope
I had
No sound
But clacking bones
Of palm fronds
Bowed
To cover what remained
Of me
And I, I slept
While insects swarmed
And stars careened
I slept
And dreamt
Of dying
In a different world
-Me
Shadows
Where sockets
Should be
Eyeballs
Hip bones
Shoulders
Teeth
Closed or
Open
These points
Known
Clearly
Only
To me
Approach
Holding your own
Needs
And risk
And see
-me
I have built this
With my mind
From bits
That I remember
How does gravity work
There are rules
What are they
Sliding chairs
Noisily
Across the floor
Legs seem important
For reaching
Which way
Musical games
Fighting not to be left
Standing precarious
In an empty space
Is this right
How do I
Find my seat
I rise, yes
I’ll just rest here
Near the light
And read myself
To sleep
-me
Painting: A Little Light Reading, by Roxana Halls
My gut
Soft and young
Took the brunt
Of my hatred
For being made
A woman
At 8
I tried to grab, punch
Tear her away
But she
Never the monster
I took her for
he, he, HE!
Was the the monster
Years of apologies
Amends
Repair
I began to love her
Unbidden
And then
I let him hold her
Too soon
He touched another
She tried to warn
I felt the knots
The churning
I behaved wild
An animal
Tainted spear
Through my gut
Thrashing and lashing
She knew
She knew
She knew
Long before I did
And finally when
I felt it
That night
She cramped and expelled
All the rot that she held
Empty, hungry for war
But my grief
Starved her more
She got small
Spurned
Vulnerable again
My hatred returned
But somehow within
That same year
I started to heed
Her tiny churning
To feed
I followed
The subtle grumbles
However reluctant
I walked away
When she warned
From moments and men
Now we both grow, again
Safe and nourished
Soft and free
I fill her up
Hold her dear
I feel her movements
She guides
I follow
We thrive
Alone
I learn
Fully
How to love Her
Myself
-me
I am learning
To shape myself
With the seasons
Forming my body
Around hours
And months
Ground water
Weaving itself
Differently
Each day
Through my hair
Time invading
And waking my brain
No longer just
Casually clapped
Around wrists
Sensing a shift
Umbilically
When the west wind
Turns course
Tugging me
Wrapping my waist
From the east
Thunderheads
The gods
Who brew
And break my plans
Smelling
Their warning
On the air
Electric pheromones
Portending
Awe calling
Like clockwork
Each dusk
To the swallows
As they gather and play
Above pastures
And somedays
I am pulled
To walk among them
Until dark
And I swear
We are all hysterical
Feeling currents
Dodging fate
While we can
And laughing
-me
sometimesihatemycat 