Asymmetric Urges

•January 15, 2022 • Leave a Comment

I love to run my lips
Along my freshly lacquered nails
Their sturdy smoothness soothes me
And I do it quite incessantly
As if to reassure myself
That comfort always lives
Only a hand gesture away
But nearly simultaneously
I feel the urge to flinch
To part my lips and teeth and jaw
And bite down hard
To leave behind a dented scar
Along one perfect surface
Erasing all symmetric sureness
Playing with my own desire
To allow and to deny 
And so sometimes I bite
And when I do I always know
Which nail my lips will seek out first

-me

Painting: Women’s Hands by Christina Maifoshi

Change

•January 14, 2022 • Leave a Comment

And then
There was
A canyon
When I had
Only dreamt
Of seas

-me

Painting: Canyon Edge by Ian Cook

Open Space

•December 13, 2021 • Leave a Comment

Shattered
Glass bottles glisten
On a freshly
Lined lot
And I
Find myself wishing
I am somewhere
I’m not

-me

Resist

•November 24, 2021 • Leave a Comment

Today I sat
With resistance
A hive of bees
Behind the walls
Of my chest
And frenzied
Making their way
In all directions
Burrowing inside
The drywall
Of my thighs
Roaming random
Down to my
Dead end toes
Bumping on bone
And turning
Churning over
Each other 
Through my middle
Frantic flitting
Up my throat
Wildly swirling
Inside my mouth
Alighting on
The lightly sealed
Line of my lips
Crawling and testing
I could feel them
Trying and tickling
With antennae against
The soft corners
Of my mouth
Exploring
For weakness
And tempting me
To open up
And let them out

-me

Consent

•November 5, 2021 • Leave a Comment

A bundle of “No”
Swaddled warm in my arms, still
Always free to leave

-me (and she)

Vintage photo of a cat, photographer unknown

Gut Check

•November 4, 2021 • Leave a Comment

Sitting silent
Makes me hungry
As I stare
At hope awhile
But the blank page
Beyond hoping
Calls my innards
To defile
Because I’d rather
Spill than eat
Your shit
It’s filled me rank
For way too long
I chewed and gagged
And choked it down
But it’s been
Deadly to belong
So I choose
Evacuation
Either by heaving
Or entrails
I’ll stay starving
In my stillness
Before I gorge
Your crap
Again

-me

Artwork by Jenny Schmid

Rendezvous

•October 28, 2021 • Leave a Comment

When we used to walk
Our neighborhood
At night
You’d point out those towers
Blinking red antennae
And tell me
To meet you there
Should the world collapse
Well it did
And you didn’t
And now
Somehow I end up
At those towers weekly
Alone
And the sign I pass
As I drive away
“Rent a Dream”
Speaks more truth
Than you ever did

-me

Photographer Unknown

The Beginning

•October 22, 2021 • Leave a Comment

This isn’t a story
Of said soot-covered bird
Shaking free 
And flying easily
No, this is a tale
Of embers still around me
Smoldering and dying
It’s hot as hell
And filthy here
There’s barely air
For breathing
And darkness only
Pierced by flame
Searing my skin
I’m fighting to survive
Again
At some expense
I’m choking
Rising is not winning
It is instinct
To stop the pain
To find cool wind
Sweet oxygen
And to postpone
The end

-me

Photography: The Beginning of Ashes, by Mikael Aldo

Phantom Pain

•October 5, 2021 • Leave a Comment

These skeletons will
Not stay put their muscular
Memory’s afoot

-me

Detail from an 18th century oil painting depicting the Dance Macabre

For Now

•October 4, 2021 • Leave a Comment

I do not know
What I have left
In me
To say
To give
To be
So I will
Speak for now
Of nothing

-me

Painting: I have nothing to say. Just feel it. by Lia Kimura

 
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