A Death

•April 16, 2019 • Leave a Comment

I lived once
Unashamed
Until he threatened
Not to stay
I took on shame
And quiet days
With hope he wouldn’t
Go away
I made those lists
Of all the ways
My living loud
Had made him pay
Amends
That’s what they say
And yet
He’s with her anyway
So I lost years
And I lost spine
And I lost courage
And my pride
And I lost trust
And yes t(he)y lied
But even more
I bear the blame
I died the day
I lived ashamed

-me


Painting: Ashamed by Birth Petersen

Voices

•April 11, 2019 • Leave a Comment

Since when
Did I let men
Become
The voices in
My brain
Again
I am shamed
I have betrayed
Myself
Blocked my own
Way
Within
So it is time
Once more to see
Beneath
This skull
And meaty memory
What remains
Only revealed
If I can
Brave
A new lobotomy

-me?


Photography: Blood by laura-makabresku on deviantart.com

Solution

•April 8, 2019 • 1 Comment

A moon-sliced ice cube
Plopped playful in a soda pop
I shriek and crack erratic
And begin my glacial melt
In a slow swirl of commingling
Solid-cold and bubbly-warm
Both forms of me, matter

-me


pic by me

Turn

•March 11, 2019 • Leave a Comment

A golden finch-hen on a glass doorknob
A mockingbird blocking her nest
The spring chimes are ringing
Each time she takes flight
Winter postures while puffing his chest

A sharp beak will glint in the sun just like glass
All mamas’ scared eyes look the same
We shoulder this season
To spite winter’s bite
Crying out for creation if even in vain

-me


Painting: The Goldfinch, Carel Fabritius

Your Service

•March 8, 2019 • 1 Comment

There was a silence
Wrapped around my heart
Like the flag that cradled his coffin
So I left a letter folded neatly next to him
With words I should have said out loud
But simply could not utter then
I penned, and sent along with him

Thank you Granddad
For giving up your smoking pipe
On that warm day so long ago
Because a little girl was worried
And she asked you to
And loved you so

A sacred moment of respect
Folded neatly now
Inside my chest

-me

Pressing Petition

•February 15, 2019 • Leave a Comment

Our Father
Must I crush my own skull
To mute the incessant hum
Of projected passing happy time
My palms fit perfect at each temple
They shall meet in silent prayer
I will be done
Hairline cracks like trespasses
Form fragile lurching lattice work
Fault lines grind and blur
My under-mush begins to move
Memories and petitions two
All seeing amoebic globes
Grow pseudo-feet from gelatin
They shift their shape and flee
From hallowed sockets
Caves and kingdoms closing in
Popping out they burst free
Onto the safe and stable shoreline
Of my dislocated gaping lower jaw
Hallelujah
All the stories seep from cracks
And forgiveness hangs askew
My smooth numb future finally splits
The daily dull of pleasant bread
Gives way to heavenly pain
Finally through the glorious ooze
My fingertips reach and find each other
I am delivered
In this crackling moment of
Only now
Forever and ever
Amen

-me


Artwork: Album cover, No Cross No Crown, by Corrosion of Conformity

Maiden

•February 1, 2019 • Leave a Comment

And so I wait
Nearly numb
For vital bits
To realign
Inside my ribs
I used to know
Because I read in books
This trap of bones
Designed itself
To do the work
Of keeping all
Soft parts of me
Protected while profusing
But lately I’ve gone
Blind and dumb
As this mettled meat
That used to beat
So wild
Has steeled itself
Because we both forgot
I have these bones
To do that job
My body is its own
Iron maiden
Ready made
And built to keep me
Pained but safe
Inside
And so we wait
My bits and I
To settle in
And bleed again

-me


Photography: iron maiden-head detail by markis024 at deviantart.com

 
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