Sometimes

•June 5, 2012 • 2 Comments

I make pistols with my pointer fingers

And pretend to shoot laser guns into the air

Sound effects included.

I have one stiff drink

Right in the middle of my day

Because I am an adult and because I can.

I call my dog “booger-face”

As a term of endearment

When he gives me that “don’t bother me” look.

I spin in the middle of my kitchen

On the tile floor

Pretending I am a ballerina until I almost fall.

I smack my head, elbow, hand

On the corner of a wall

That I walk by every damn day of my life.

I am late picking up my child from school

Because I am writing

Instead of paying attention to the time.

Posted in Motherhood, Poetry, Whimsy

Space Junk

•June 5, 2012 • Leave a Comment

A constellation on our cushions

Each the center of our own universe

Held together by the pull of our heavy mass

In a dim light-speckled vacuum of silence

Beauty, grace, and awe indeed to behold

While in it we are bombarded by debris of our own discarding

 

Posted in Meditation, Poetry

Legacy

•June 4, 2012 • 3 Comments

I keep feeling the pull to write something for my daughter.  I wonder if writing for me IS in fact writing for her.  But that does not quite fill the romantic notion that keeps showing up in my brain and that I keep feeling in my gut.  The writer, and meditator, in me says to keep doing what I am doing and that is enough.  The mother, and perhaps mammal, in me says I must compile some sentimental work of wonder as a legacy for my baby girl.  That baby is now a 6-year-old firecracker.  And, still I struggle with how to write for her…or even IF I should write for her. Do I just write, or write “for?”  That same old question of expectations comes to the surface again.

 

So here is a compromise and a start:

 

Amidst the blood and pain

In a flash of a moment

You were trapped

So I was willing to be ripped apart

And there you were

Scarlet cheeked,  overwhelmed, and screaming

As you swung your fists on my belly

I shared the terror in your eyes

“tell me about it kid”

Escaped my lips before I could edit

It wasn’t romantic but it was real

“we” were formed

In a pool of human mess and exhaustion

 

You and I then looked at your father

And We were settled

Posted in Motherhood, Poetry, Ramblings & Observations

A Window (Into Me)

•June 4, 2012 • Leave a Comment

How loud do you scream

When it’s not loud enough

To crash walls, un-hinge doors

Or bring help from above

 

He’s not listening, just watching

Perhaps not really there

All that’s here is the human

Under his weighted stare

 

When comfort escapes you

None in your own skin

All that’s left is that window

And the light streaming in

Posted in Abuse, Poetry

I saw you

•June 4, 2012 • 2 Comments

Walking to school today

Arms wrapped around your middle

Shoulders hunched forward

Nausea or pain?

Brow furrowed

Face grimacing

Eyes cast downward

That city bus pulled up to your left

Causing an exaggerated startle

Quick covering of ears

Instant pulling away

You appear hurting

Going through the motions anyway

I saw you

I saw me

Posted in Abuse, Poetry, Ramblings & Observations

Opportunity

•June 3, 2012 • 1 Comment

She shows up when she wants

Much like me

You cannot force her to stay

But dismiss her

At your own peril

Freedom?

Posted in Marriage, Motherhood, Poetry, Ramblings & Observations

I slept in

•June 2, 2012 • Leave a Comment

A fog

Of should-have

And to-do

Rolled in

My body

Needing rest

Rocky chores

Did wait

At bay

Until late

Morning’s clearing

Posted in Poetry

Divergence

•June 1, 2012 • Leave a Comment

This week I can’t figure me out

I keep taking my watch off and wandering about

When I look for the time

My bare wrist so sublime

But my agenda it will not flesh out

Posted in Poetry, Ramblings & Observations, Whimsy

The Mess in the Basement

•May 31, 2012 • Leave a Comment

As I sit

in the cool basement

eyelids open and shut spontaneously

a black iPhone screen seems a pool worth diving into

poems show themselves in my mind

a belly breath brings endorphins

deep sighs echo from my large pup sleeping

like a dam breaking

joy stings and rushes my sinuses

overwhelmed by detail

I welcome the connection to cluttered life

the bell ends it

and I write

–April Resnick

I am Meditating by Leia Resnick

Posted in Body, Meditation, Poetry, Writing

We

•May 31, 2012 • Leave a Comment

We wake up in bad moods

We forget our breath

We argue with others

We will face our own death

 

We all get embarrassed

We trip and we burp

We reach out for others

We hurt when we hurt

 

We can sit in silence

We can follow our breath

We can notice the details

       And wake up before death.

–April Resnick

Posted in Death, Humanity, Meditation, Poetry

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