Today’s the day

…that I hate my cat(s).  I have made a command decision this morning that, after my cats’ natural demise, I will no longer make a conscious decision to care for another pet that involves permanently taking care of their bodily functions in the house.  Potty training, be it dogs or children, is one thing…a permanent toilet emptied by me is another! Unfortunately cats live a long time.  I find myself daydreaming of the day that I can finally throw out all of the “cat supplies.” I daydream about this every time I am cleaning up after them.  One would think that having 3 litter boxes for 2 cats would be enough.  Apparently not for my cats.  Grrrrrr…..

I am fully aware that I will probably feel guilty about these thoughts once they are no longer with us. However, I am not sure if that type of guilt is natural or is something we do to ourselves.  Why should I feel guilty for having human emotions?  I am tired of society trying to divorce us from our human form.  Nearly every religion starts by trying to convince us that we are not enough the way we are.  We are either too much of one thing (sin) or not enough of another (compassion/equanimity).  What if trying to be more than human is a lost cause?  What if it is a waste of time?  What if we look back and wish we had spent more time fully present to whatever was happening, for better or worse.  Sometimes I think the whole idea of Heaven and an afterlife(lives) gets us “off the hook.”  We don’t really have to embrace who we are, or live in the present gritty world, if there is something better later right?  Why do we need something better?  What if we looked around and engaged with the world as it is?  I wonder…

Either way…today I hate my cat, and today I don’t feel guilty about it.

~ by April on May 15, 2012.

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