Crucified

Tonight
I willingly nail
Ankles, to cushion, to floor
To find out if I still feel
Only my toes left free
To wiggle like searching worms
For comfort they will not know
Wrists, to thighs, to kneeling bench
To beg relief from emptiness
My fingertips sucking the numb
Neuronal straws like Seconal
From soul, from heart, from mind
Clearing this fog with searing
Cramping heat clamping down
Draining blood from all but vital
Breath, and brain, and notice trained
After hours something small has changed
I tear my limbs from crucifixion
Allow my skin to fill again
And I have learned
From letting in
The pain
To win

–A.R.

cemetery angel red

Photo by Squintphotography on Etsy

~ by April on January 31, 2014.

4 Responses to “Crucified”

  1. Beautiful
    http://www.awordofsubstance.wordpress.com

  2. Powerful

    • I’m glad. The experience itself, meditating for hours while in pain, was indeed powerful. That it reads powerfully means perhaps I translated the felt experience well. I do not recommend this type of meditation often…but there was something to be learned. Thank you.

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