Baudelaire over Buddha next to Nietzsche

I have been drunk
I have been empty
I have been catatonic
I much prefer the guzzling
Or the complete checking out
To the walking dead of nothingness
I’d rather fight and fuck and make mistakes
I’d rather collapse into my own battened brainscape
Than I would choose again this hollowed out detachment
Neither drink of wine, of virtue, of poetry, of passion, of attachment
Can destroy beauty born of pain as much as the letting go can
Because when I did that, all will to live let go of me
It was not enlightenment I found but depression
A safe and cold cocoon away from contact
A flatlined plateau of perfect peace
No, that escape is not for me
You may keep it
If it helps, but I
Will save myself

–A.R.

20140222-162053.jpg
The Turin Horse by KatarinaRss on deviantART

~ by April on February 22, 2014.

4 Responses to “Baudelaire over Buddha next to Nietzsche”

  1. oh yes …

    ‘… To the walking dead of nothingness’

    … reminds me of Bowie’s ‘Sons of the Silent Age’; and, I offer this as alignment, not as plug: the shape of the poem reminded me of ‘mass’ by mlewisredford which explored the journey INTO nothingness (rather than your/Baudelaire’s/Nietzche’s struggle to stay out) but which took a (similar to yours – an impossible sideways stalagtite?) shape of an arrowhead – seewhatyathink:

    http://mlewisredford.wordpress.com/2011/11/14/mass/

    • That was indeed beautiful. I love “ugh value-bled all over my shoes and.” I tried a bit of nothingness for awhile, and it left me well…with nothing. And while it was indeed without drama, it was also without life.

      Thanks for yr wonderful comments always.

  2. Magnificent. And I agree

    • Thank you. I spent awhile experimenting with emptiness, and while it works great on the cushion, off the cushion I felt like an empty zombie. No, I will keep it on the cushion I think.

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