sometimesihatemycat

Tonight I lie alert

And waiting

For sleep anesthesia

To cloud my brain

And lighten my limbs

But She descends instead

With her sadness dripping

From the ceiling, down the walls

Filling the bedroom

Until I am drowning

In her, with her, from her

My lungs shake and eyes burn

I try to find my breath

It is of no use this evening

Not even my exhale escapes her tide

So I give up, give in, give to her

My fear

My failure

My death

My nothingness

And she seeps and I weep

Into and from every pore and orifice

Her liquid non-life saturates me

Devastates me

I will not sleep tonight

I will stare with eyes wide open

From the bottom of her depths

Until the sun

-a.r.

This is a reworking of an old poem of mine from January 2013, done so because I have recently had a similar struggle.

~ by April on July 2, 2014.

Posted in Body, Death, Humanity, Identity, Meditation, Poetry
Tags: Death, Drowning, Insommnia, Life, poetry, sleep, Struggle, Survival