Silly Bear

Love-hate has always been
My relationship with all things
Including with myself
I have not been able
To give myself completely
To imperfect love affairs
Or family affairs
I always keep a part of me
Guarded and regarding
From a safe sardonic distance
I have rarely even questioned
My hardened nature
It kept me safe
Until this morning
As I slept
My daughter woke me softly
With a kiss to say goodbye
She offered me her Pooh Bear
She said I should hold him for safe-keeping
Half asleep and without hesitation
I held out my hands to her
And I gently took the bear
I pulled him tight to my chest
Wrapped my arms around him
And rested my head between his little ears
In my early morning haze
I exhaled so completely
That I suddenly felt as if I were falling in love
Unashamed, unprotected, unguarded
Unabashedly I cried
Why did I let this go
Why did I ever hide this away
Why did I put it in a box, in a bag, on a shelf
Why did I give it away
Why did I call it child’s play
I want it back again
This freedom to let myself fall
Even if it is only pretend
Even if it is only for the length of a hug


Image found on

~ by April on December 8, 2014.

7 Responses to “Silly Bear”

  1. beautiful – I am so happy for you; I wish you many more bears

    • Thank you. It was an unexpected feeling….that childlike release of holding a bear. I had forgotten what it was like to just relax into something, someone. It was a lovely reminder.

  2. Beautiful

  3. Amazingly written April. So Beautiful.

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