Unruly
I want
To be unruly
Unkempt and unyielding
Like my daughter’s hair
Each morning
A mess of matted tendrils
From tossing and sweating
Fighting with fevered dreams
Irreconcilable scenes
Unable to be put together
Unwilling to be straightened out
Unlikely to be worked through
Without a good amount of ripping
Tearing and screaming
Cursing the forced task at hand
“Damn you”
“FUCK YOU!”
Leave me alone
Let me be matted and messy
All parts of me tangled
Wild and knotted while I am waking
This morning
I will not untangle myself
I will walk away and keep
The strands of me in shambles
Smelling of tortured sleep
Looking like Hell
And hurling defiance
At the world
-a.r.
Painting by Jaclyn Conley
I was inspired to rework and repost this as I am reading Preliminary Materials For a Theory of the Young-Girl.
May we all find a way to be unruly.
sometimesihatemycat 
oh, brushing through hair remindeds me of …
https://mlewisredford.wordpress.com/2011/11/16/i-asked-my-nan-to-write-down-her-memoirs/
btw, April, I cut my own hair yesterday – it was going nowhere
Oh yes, I recall you were letting your hair grow. Going nowhere as in not growing out, or as in not doing anything for you? Was it difficult to cut it?
… as in a lot of effort and grooming away from what I actually am; during my latest relapse, it seemed just natural to cut it off and start again
My hair is rather long, wild, and unruly…a bit of a blonde mane. I often fantasize about shaving it off, shaving the sides, dying it black…etc….
how free are you to do any of that …?
Not free enough yet, but a hell of a lot closer than I have ever been. My madness is almost palpable these days. 😉
sounds like your hair
This is really awesome. You highlighted the frustration really well. Loved it! 🙂
Thanks. Yes, I am becoming more and more frustrated with social/gender norms these days.