no Self to be saved
no big You to the rescue
this Me fantasy
-a.r.
Painting: The Lovers by Rene Magritte
Be (the) Cause
•February 14, 2015 • Leave a CommentRed Queen
•February 14, 2015 • 1 CommentLast night
My lover made a claim, expecting ALL of me
Of loyalty and of belief, I cannot let this be
I reject this, my body will not digest this
All of anything is a lie, unless we speak of when you die
ALL of me is not up for grabs, not even on the table
I alone will save this painted face, if I am able
There is at least one card you cannot see
So close that I have sewn it directly into me
Mine alone, this fleshy vest, you may have the rest
But this old Dame, I control her play, one day
I will reach, with this hand, into my beating heart
I will rip these seams apart, and I will throw her down
This Queen, and claim her crown
Until that day, She and I decide how much of me
To hold, to play, to bluff, discard, or hide
Or perhaps if you are lucky
To let it ride
-a.r.
Painting: Judith II The Queen of Hearts by Karen M.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
Restless (re)Work
•February 12, 2015 • Leave a CommentMy lover likes me restless
I must admit I like it too
Careful not to bliss away
Or distract with comforts new
A stark direction or idea
Could be born from agitation
Stay mindful not to kill the thrill
With too much empty meditation
-a.r.
Sleeplessness
•February 11, 2015 • Leave a CommentVerse sits heavy on my chest
And hisses lines into my head
I cannot turn or toss it off
No sleep, but demon’s slave instead
-a.r.
Photo title and artist unknown
She
•February 11, 2015 • Leave a CommentSHE.
Wild-eyed-wailing loud mad woman
CRAZY!
Spewing laced and racing thoughts
SHREW!
From her dark and sharpened corner
WHORE!
Dimming all your made-in-sparkle plans
HAG!
Unaware and unconcerned with offense
BITCH!
Chewing on your shit-shined-up clichés
COW!
Gathering together all the bits you leave behind
TROLL!
Creating for herself a shrill and singular dementia
HYSTERIC!
Ruling high and quick before her forced capitulation
QUEEN!
Reborn and formed again untouchable and touched
Madonna…
-a.r.
Painting: A Mad Woman by Eugene Delacroix
Alter Ego
•February 10, 2015 • 2 CommentsI cannot concern myself
With other people’s pride
When I have such work to do
Deconstructing mine
-a.r.
Painting by Luis Duro
Reality
•February 9, 2015 • 2 CommentsI cannot let myself
Live on illusory comforts
I must plant myself firmly
In the mud and manure
Of mad melancholia
-a.r.
Painting: The Mad Painter 1981 by Enzo Cucchi
Unruly
•February 6, 2015 • 9 CommentsI want
To be unruly
Unkempt and unyielding
Like my daughter’s hair
Each morning
A mess of matted tendrils
From tossing and sweating
Fighting with fevered dreams
Irreconcilable scenes
Unable to be put together
Unwilling to be straightened out
Unlikely to be worked through
Without a good amount of ripping
Tearing and screaming
Cursing the forced task at hand
“Damn you”
“FUCK YOU!”
Leave me alone
Let me be matted and messy
All parts of me tangled
Wild and knotted while I am waking
This morning
I will not untangle myself
I will walk away and keep
The strands of me in shambles
Smelling of tortured sleep
Looking like Hell
And hurling defiance
At the world
-a.r.
Painting by Jaclyn Conley
I was inspired to rework and repost this as I am reading Preliminary Materials For a Theory of the Young-Girl.
May we all find a way to be unruly.
Dream State
•February 5, 2015 • Leave a CommentI surrender and descend
Split my self and empty
All my mad imaginings
Of returning to a real
Story put on paper
With no hope
Of any thing
But lack
& this
-?.?.
Painting: Meditation by Irena Aizen
The Knot
•February 4, 2015 • Leave a CommentThere is no amount of hardware
That will turn self into real
Only the symbolic
Which carries the weight of feel
-a.r.
Chalk drawing: Borromean Rings by Rick Tan
sometimesihatemycat 