A Choice

•September 9, 2014 • 2 Comments

You
Are the stray hair
Caught in my eyelash there
During silent sitting
You
Are the hot knot
Churning hungry in my gut
While I am sitting still
You
Are the bones
Below my toes grinding
Into the ground
When I chose not to move
You
Are the decision
I may have to make
Once I get up
To go through my day
I
For now will simply feel
The tug and sting in my eye
The rot and rumble in my gut
The gristly grating in my bones
The desire to choose in my chest
I
Will sit with
You

-a.r.

frida-kahlo-the-broken-columnThe Broken Column, Frida Kahlo

The Game

•September 5, 2014 • Leave a Comment

It is time
To let my mind tumble
Like little labeled chips in a bingo game
It is the moment when I watch them spin
A jumble of numbered thoughts
Falling all over themselves, fighting
For the chance to be pulled from the lot
But not yet
The Game Master’s hand still grinds
Away, with a gleeful grin on his face
So I sit and stare and listen to the clicking
Anticipation will not help me now
Better just to wait and let the game go on
Knowing soon the wheel will stop
The lettered tiles will settle themselves
And all will go silent
A potential winning one will be in hand
Played with and fiddled between fingers
Spoken and spelled and placed face up
That is when I act and it will be
Either, a winner or a dud
B38

-a.r.

the-bingo-losers-jonathon-williams

The Bingo Losers by Jonathon Williams, Fineartamerica.com

See Me (again)

•September 4, 2014 • Leave a Comment

I never said
I was perfect
Or even normal
I only ever claimed
To find occasional
Comfort, joy
With who I am
For now

–a.r.

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Photo from Black and WTF

Forgotten

•September 3, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Feeling
There it is, go back
That cool breath of wind through the smallest of cracks
With the faint scent of then
Surfacing bumps and beads on the backs of our arms
Tickling the tiniest fears on the napes of our necks
Listen, can you hear them yet
Beckoned by echoes, “We are in here, come find us.”
The shuffling of proto-feet through lost fossils
The sharp and flinty click of rocks on long forgotten walls
Have you noticed, how
Cool sparks flicker off wet trickles, dripping
Smooth deposits that shine from crystalized time
Grey outlines of ghosts begin dancing again
Animals once aflame, but for now plugged in
And those caved in walls finally reveal
We are one and the same
In the art, in the feel, of our dreams

-a.r.

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Photo still from Chauvet Cave, Cave of Forgotten Dreams

Darkening Days

•August 30, 2014 • 2 Comments

April's avatarsometimesihatemycat

I look forward
There is a dark season on the horizon
Light mood, light humor, light slipping
Slowly below that line of land, looming
Barely noticeable except by feel alone
Shadows unseen while looking towards the sun
Were always there, but now begin a slow reach
Clothing will soon change from easy sheath
To layered shrouds of mourning, for cover
Of skin thinned raw from exposure
Awakening in me a guttural wantonness
Growing from a gritty grounded place
I will soon seek out meaty music
With heavy words and thicker chords
That carry earthy reverb, building
They will wreak a heady havoc
Turning the breezy haze of easy tune
Into dark and heavy magic
I grin crooked, with a welcome chill

— April Resnick

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Dark Sunset, creator unknown

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Watching & Waiting

•August 21, 2014 • 4 Comments

Oh how quickly things spiral to madness
Till no longer ’bout goodness or badness
Minute misconceptions
Human imperfections
Projecting rightness instead of our sadness

Oh but slowly we could break this habit
Sitting silent without safety jackets
Other becomes you
Self begins slipping through
Possibility’s born from our stepping back a bit

-a.r.

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The Blind Watchmaker by jetski66 on deviantART

This Summer

•August 15, 2014 • Leave a Comment

I am enjoying unstacking the piles
That, while striving, had piled up for miles
Simple joys in this job
Yes, my brain’s become blob
So soon I’ll remember ambitious desires

-ar

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Piles of French Novels by Vincent Van Gogh

no

•August 12, 2014 • Leave a Comment

needing another…illusion
wanting another…reality
so often i confuse the two
i alone determine what fixing i need
and what fixing i wish to do

ar

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Untitled, House Series, Francesca Woodman

Fear (repost)

•August 7, 2014 • Leave a Comment

It is real
Anxieties gather in my gut
I feel them churning
I hear their chatter
Making plans out of my fears
They worm their way in all directions
Northbound
They burrow in my brain
Whisper failure in my ears
They drip warmly from my nose and eyes
Then prickle, bead, and bubble from my pits
Some of them bolt and make a beeline
Straight up my esophagus
With an unexpected urgency
The rest of them hunker down and turn
Southbound
With parasitic precision
They compel me
To run towards relief
But I stay seated and feel the battle
Rage inside my body and mind
Soon with surprise I find
Reinforcements shoring up my spine
My wormy nerves are calmed
And I am brave again
Until next time

— April Resnick

raw nerve 2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Raw Nerve 2, by Julie Lawless

Because tonight I will be speaking at my graduation and to spite what my mind tells me, my body still reacts…and all I can do is feel it and move forward.

Between

•August 4, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Because it seems I am between things at the moment,

“And letting that heavy nothing
Hang in the air, alone
Is hardest of all”

April's avatarsometimesihatemycat

Between the cool whips of wind
When life tousles my hair
Raises bumps on my arms
Carries scents of the seasons
And stirs the stuff about me
There are stale stagnant spaces
Moments of waning, waiting
Wanting to add something
But these minutes are full already
And letting that heavy nothing
Hang in the air, alone
Is hardest of all

— April Resnick

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Waiting for the Wind, by Drew Hartel

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