Writing Space

•July 7, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Oh the usual mundane decorations

A desk, a chair, a writing tablet

Dust, papers, and a ticking clock

Me…a particle, empty pulp, and passing

 

I have insisted that it travel with me

Snapshots of captured moments cry out

Piles of tasks wait for attention

Shelves of guidebooks whisper

 

A charm of luck tipped on its side

An elephant with beads too heavy

A silent box of stained cherry

That grinds of masquerades when opened

 

A stolen emblem from my first taste of freedom

One of the few parts left untouched in the wreckage

The smooth lime radio that must warm up to be heard

It crackles, hums, and echoes

 

The images that remind of me

Have no faces

I have never noticed that before

Father, brother, husband, daughter…they all have faces

 

A memory, a reminder, a revelation

Books on healing, awakening, and death

A stapler and its nemesis on different shelves

Permanent and dry erase markers dangerously commingle

 

How long has that drawer been open?

I told you!

•July 3, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Cat Litter Increases Risk of Anger, Depression, and Suicide

http://gma.yahoo.com/study-links-cat-litter-box-increased-suicide-risk-194116398–abc-news-health.html

The Rabbit, The Web, and The Dead Baby Birds

•July 2, 2012 • 2 Comments

Frozen ash brown rabbit on emaciated legs

A single strand of web

Angled from tree to porch

Holding a lone drop glistening

Like the eyes of that still wild thing

It crosses between us

In the night, a mythic force field preserving courage

 

My husband lied about the fallen baby birds

Until I found their mother the next day

fallen

thrown

jumped

Onto the concrete below

Very near where her babies landed with necks askew

 

Is it possible to understand a rabbit, a web, a mother bird?

I imagine that I can…

Busy Dancing

•July 1, 2012 • Leave a Comment

I was dancing all day,

So I could not write,

Perhaps if I’m lucky,

I will have time tonight.

 

My body exhausted,

My mind is a blank,

My fun all used up,

And my dance shoes quite rank!

 

 

 

But, I don’t want to!

•June 28, 2012 • Leave a Comment

My mind screams and whines, not unlike my 6 year old.

The tantrum may not be visible to others, but it is just as loud in my head,

And just as persuasive.

“I don’t want to be still!”

“You can’t make me!”

Pay attention to the storm or suffer the consequences.

 

But just like my child,

If I wait long enough my will releases, and submission arrives with a sigh.

So now what?

 

What am I feeling?

It feels like a tummy ache that travels into my throat.

It feels like a hunger pang, frantic and unnerving.

“Something must be done.

Or I will wither away!”

 

When nothing is done, except for the feeling of it,

It morphs into magnetic trembling in my chest.

Pulling me towards something, anything,

To feed this NOT-WANTING-TO.

I choose not to feed it for half an hour

In the end neither the not-wanting-to nor I have died.

Open

•June 26, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Rhythmic creaking door

In this darkened silent space

Is the room breathing with us

Are we all secretly attempting to get out

Even while we appear sure as statues

Is the world out there trying to get in

Futile as it seeps in through the open window

In the sudden sounds, with the tempting smells, as the dancing shadows, on the stirring breeze

mingling with our attention, our senses, our thoughts, and our breath

Bathis Praxis

•June 25, 2012 • Leave a Comment

I did not intend to meditate today…

…it settled over me as I lay floating in the tub.

A day of writing and mothering…

 …the bath was meant to be a practical punctuation.

I breathe and float and let go of the day…

…it becomes an important point of reference, an endnote.

The water is warm and mostly enveloping…

…my exposed skin is goose bumped from the cool air.

I am comfortable with both temperatures…

…equanimity where before there would have been aversion.

My hands float just below the surface…

…until I will them to rise and rest on my abdomen.

My stomach is stable, unwavering…

…strength where there once would have been jelly like cowardice.

After a time of breathing and feeling…

…my mind returns and has something important to reveal.

My practice is finally my own.

It feels as much mine now as my body finally feels to me.

I am not mimicking another’s practice or following their dogmatic instructions.

I am floating in my own meditation.

Created at last, with the words that pour out of me each day.

A smile, an exhalation, and a tear are added to the subtle waves around me.

Poetry Speaking

•June 24, 2012 • 1 Comment

Look at me

Read my words

Fold me up

Place me

In your back pocket

Or your shirt

Closer

To your vital organs

Or crumple me

Throw me

In the trash bin

Either way

I will still be here

Giving you words

Of (dis)comfort, strength

Waiting for you

To notice

Something valuable

To you

From me

Stuff

•June 23, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Inanimate objects are not out to get me,

A corner, a cabinet, a clock.

They do not jump out and they do not play games,

But they certainly bug me a lot.

 

I have learned to stay silent and not to react,

I continue my chores as I ought.

Still, those quaint little pieces fake mischief,

And, “Damn you!” still flings from my thoughts.

The Cat, The Coach, and the Catholic Priest

•June 22, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Steaming, stinking, piles of crap

On my carpet and in the courtroom

My GOD how could this happen again?!

I desperately want to ignore them both

But find my attention drawn in their direction

While my stomach quietly lurches, wretches toward my throat

The longer they sit there, immovable

Their outer layer darkens and hardens

Bacteria seeping down and infecting once clean fibers

To spite myself and my well-trained demeanor

I want to run sobbing, screaming, willing to sell my soul to end it.

Instead I use my will, swallow my reaction, fall to my knees

Steadily go about cleaning the small reachable areas that lie directly in front of me…