Video On Demand

•January 28, 2015 • 4 Comments

Must there be video evidence
Record
Save
Share
In order for my rape to be made real
Must my inner most flesh be damaged on display
Snap
Chat
Laugh
In order for you to have the guts to say it was wrong
Must only my unconscious body be invaded
Silent
Limp
Passive
In order for you to hear my soul scream NOOOOOOOO!
Is your amoral screen the only standard for conviction
Unfeeling
Friend
Unfriend
In order for justice to be served
Is it only in the absence of my actual humanity
Just
Shut
Down
That you allow yourself to feel the ripples in our world
Will you ever believe our voices
Alone
Without
Media
Or is this the only way that any of us matter?

-a.r.

IMG_1868
Graffiti by Banksy

Posted in Abuse, Body, Equal Rights, Family, Friendship, Humanity, Identity, Poetry, Twitter
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Desire

•January 27, 2015 • Leave a Comment

Noise

Static

Hissing

Buzzing

Constant

Sssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Shut…the fuck…up…for.a.minute.

Numb

Humming

Drumming

Signal invading

Pounding pulse Re VerB er at InG

Skull cracking

Brain wanting

MORE!

Drip, drip, drip, drip, drip, drip

Desire’s nosebleed

Exsanguinating

SPLASH

Finally empty

Collapse

Silence

-a.r.

Damaged NeuronsDamaged neurons, artist unknown, found at dovemed.com 

Posted in Body, Death, Humanity, Identity, Meditation, Poetry
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Death of Me

•January 23, 2015 • Leave a Comment

I’ll never feel guilty when buying a book
Unopened it’s still worth the change
I’d pay for the prospect of having a look
At ideas that might rearrange

They say that a good book should tear you apart
And leave you with shreds of yourself
Or perhaps it should reach in and grab at your guts
Take some meat of you with it when shelved

I have been tempted quite into existence
I have been stripped down to barely a core
I have been remade to be butchered again
With each binding I’m begging for more

When I’m in it I want to be bleeding
No hope but in turning the page
To find my own death in the words I am reading
I’ll always be willing to pay

-a.r.

2015/01/img_1857.jpg
Painting: Muddy, bloody red…Pain by Howard Hodgkin

Posted in Death, Humanity, Poetry, Whimsy, Writing
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

God’s Forest

•January 18, 2015 • Leave a Comment

I have seen a forest of stems
Without their brains
Bodies of sleeping wood
Together standing straight
Knotted and naked
Rows of mesmerized believers
Their bare nervous tendrils
Reaching upward
Spines swaying together
Begging a sunless sky
For some connection
Stretching for a spark
Waiting for some soft mass
Of divine intelligence
To warm their winter chill
But it cannot be
There is no hope
Of God or green
Not until the spin of spring

-a.r.

2015/01/img_1841-0.jpg
Painting by Heather Hurzeler

Posted in Death, God, Humanity, Nature, Poetry
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

False Hope

•January 17, 2015 • 11 Comments

I will wrest my hope
from other people’s hands and
feel free once again.

-a.r.

dragon hand

Hand Art by Guido Daniele

Posted in Abuse, Body, Family, Friendship, God, Humanity, Identity, Meditation, Poetry, Twitter, Whimsy
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Expiration

•January 16, 2015 • 2 Comments

I can see my breath today
Changing direction with the wind
Giving its shadow to the ground
Soon disappearing, cold again

-a.r.

Numb Shelby Robinson

Photography: Numb by Shelby Robinson

Posted in Body, Death, Meditation, Nature, Poetry, Whimsy
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

My Own Light

•January 14, 2015 • 3 Comments

I have been trying too hard
Struggling straining squinting to see
Training my eyes for even a blink
A wink or a flicker of some kind

I have seen nothing so far
But a liquid wall of darkness beyond
The tip of my own flawed senses
Doomed as this bleak season closes in

Perhaps it is finally time for me
To throw myself into making a choice
Grab my favorite fake and get to work
Wallowing in my very own lie(ght)

-a.r.

2015/01/img_1822.jpg
Painting: Yellow Lamp by Anne Hoenig

Posted in Body, Death, God, Humanity, Identity, Meditation, Poetry, Writing
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Paper Bag

•January 11, 2015 • 7 Comments

Pretty sure I am
Full of shit only some days
I can hide the stench

-a.r.

imagePainting by Darren Maurer

Posted in God, Identity, Meditation, Poetry, Whimsy
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Rebirth

•January 10, 2015 • Leave a Comment

Why do I fight
The urge to filet myself
To gut myself from groin to gullet
I could let my contents spill freely
Splat, with room inside to move
I’d grab ahold of a rib or two
And climb out of this cracking carcass
Emerge anew, embryonic and elastic
Shiny and sure, unable to speak
To sit upright, or feed myself, yet
Soon I would babble, squirm, and learn
Let them have the old pieces
A bit of me for each family
They can hang it, dance around, and hit
Or throw my leftovers on a spit, I’d like to
Finish this trial by fire and let them consume
While the new blob of me wiggles away
Glistening and glad of it
I’d find another future
Maybe the next me will own my own skin
It’s almost time, as I eye the knife
To begin again

-a.r.

2015/01/img_1816.jpg
Paintings: Three Studies for a Crucifixion by Francis Bacon

Posted in Abuse, Body, Dance, Death, Family, God, Humanity, Identity, Loss, Marriage, Meditation, Motherhood, Poetry, Women's Issues, Women's Rights, Writing
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Desire

•January 9, 2015 • Leave a Comment

As Breathers we are
Tempted into Existence
By The Big Other

then there are moments
i am tempted and able
to deceive myself

-a.r.

2015/01/img_1805.jpg
Painting: Ocean of Shit IIby Conrad Botes

Posted in Body, Death, God, Humanity, Identity, Loss, Meditation, Poetry
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

« Previous Entries
Next Entries »