Premeditation (Solitude)

•April 23, 2013 • Leave a Comment

“In my solitude I’ve seen very clearly things that aren’t so.” — Antonio Machado

I’ve noticed
My daughter’s nighttime wrestle
With solitude
Mirrors my own.
Alone in the dark, in bed
That is when terror arises
Not about monsters in closets
Or demons or ghosts
But more the monsters in our head.
The things left undone
Unprocessed, unsaid
Perhaps our tears not fully shed.
Chores to do
Decision to be made
In solitude our self-doubt invades.
I tell her it will look better in the light
To let these things go just for tonight.
But find myself unable to do the same
Until I remember my own advice
Find my breath and let myself
Sleep and wake again.

–by Me

StayInBed
Stay In Bed All Night, All Day by Emily Tebbetts

Mind Over Matter

•April 22, 2013 • 2 Comments

Wrapping

Mind

Around

Impossible

Inescapable

Mind

Invades

All

Even

Quiet

Still

Mind

Directs

Attention

Experience

Perception

Integration

Mind

Acknowledged

Ignored

Concentrated

Diffuse

Wasted

Mind

Wrapped

Wandering

Wrinkled

Weathered

Warped

Mind

— Me

InMyMind-simona-mereu

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In My Mind by Simona Mereu

Roots of Change

•April 18, 2013 • 5 Comments

Something about me has changed,

I only noticed when I went away.

Things no longer neatly in their place,

It seems the mess and mud are quite okay.

 

Harder though to say goodbye,

Craving familial affection I once denied.

Wanting to pull them close awhile,

My view has changed to spite the miles.

 

Is it all the sitting or is it my age,

Or is it my writing on this page?

All, or none, no way to gauge,

Perhaps my own life now engaged.

–by Me

cypress-tree-reflection-ciocan-tudor-cosmin

Cyprus Tree Reflection by Ciocan Tudor-cosmin

Anima

•April 10, 2013 • Leave a Comment

I stopped for the death of a small thing
Alerted by animal screams
Yes, baby rabbits scream
When bleeding and shivering at canine feet

I scoop up little kit for warmth
Away from the jaws
Determined to cradle as solemn sleep falls
Swaddle in my daughter’s baby burp cloth

I will stay, my hand on its matted fur
I will witness this brief existence on earth
I will do what I can to soothe the struggle
The inevitable result of birth

I weep and hope it ends quickly
Breathing turns to gasps, seizing
Suffering together, I take over its heaving
Shaking and grieving

And then life has passed
An exhale of a moment almost missed
Gaze once with mine, eyes now cloud and fix

I feel the warmth dissipate
Anima escaped
I can see why some believe there is a soul to take
It is done and we are both visibly changed
In those early morning moments
Grateful it is finished before my own little one wakes

–by me

AliceRabbit

Strength

•April 8, 2013 • 2 Comments

Expressing the spectrum
Does not reveal a chink
Instead intricate chain-mail
That moves, gives, and breathes

Less guarded is not weakness
But links forged one by one
To provide vital organs flexible protection
While letting in the air and light

I train with stillness for the on-slot
I am prepared enough to meet the earth alone
I will face it alive and vulnerable
I choose the front lines

Unsaddled for battle
My boots land firmly in the mud
Grateful to have traded plate armor for chain
I want to feel the sun and at the end, the rain

— by me

20130408-140248.jpg

Self Portrait

•April 7, 2013 • 2 Comments

One mistress
I cannot explain
Why I am haunted these last days
Her eyes have me captured
And coming back to look again
The tilt and shadow of a hat on skin
Covering curious wisdom
A captivating contrast to the pale
Framed by dark pageboy trimmed hair
Monochrome
Broken by lips
Barely reddened by so slight a grin
Crisp white collared shirt
But form under jacket betrays
And those gloves, those clever gloves of grey

Masculine denied by feminine whispers
Feminine shored up by masculine lines
Power at the moment where roles unwind
Harsh lines of built formations blur
Blending into background
Do I want her
Do I want to be her
Am I her
One mistress, no master
— by me

20130407-232659.jpg

Self Portrait by Romaine Brooks

Inspired by Romaine Brooks, her life and her art.

The Farmer

•April 6, 2013 • 1 Comment

The Farmer

–by Me

I am reposting this in honor of National Poetry Month and to commemorate the poem it is based on, The Snowman by Wallace Stevens.  That is a poem that nearly 4 years ago changed my life. Thank you Wallace Stevens and thank you Alan Seltzer for reading and discussing it after meditation that Monday night.  It reminded me of my love of poetry and sparked a creativity and curiosity that I had forgotten.  I am still writing and still curious and owe a debt to poetry and to you Alan.

Here is the original poem by Wallace Stevens:

http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/174502

Tipsy Topsy Turvy

•April 3, 2013 • 2 Comments

Hangers drive me crazy,
The way they tangle, claw, and cling.
Domestic drudge of daily duty,
A wily web I’d like to sling.

But toss one and all go flying,
Like barreled monkeys when they link.
It’s enough to limit life to folding,
Or just let clothes wrinkle while I drink!

–by Me

20130403-120507.jpg

Unholy Trinity (Cleaver of Craft)

•April 3, 2013 • Leave a Comment

I sat with shame for a while

From the looking-glass she stared back

Odd that I could not see her breath

When so clearly I felt mine

 

I sat with anxiety for a while

It mounted as we met

Gnawing for the hours we both spent

Kneeling to standards like a shrine

 

I sat with tension for a while

Muscles gnarled from lack of care

Unbinding them with plain attention

Those tightly wound unruly vines

 

There was a glint in her left eye

That carried no tension, anxiety, shame

I traveled there and found some freedom

My craft in a small speck of light

 –by Me

GirlPearlEarring

Girl with The Pearl Earring by Johannes Vermeer

Inspired by The Craftsman by Richard Sennet

Front Porch Forest Monastery

•April 1, 2013 • Leave a Comment

Today I sit on my porch

A quick walk to the car

Was long enough to capture me

So I stop and sit amid the day

It is harder to find my breath

While the wind swirls my skin

Nature is never still

So I let myself lick my dry winter lips

And suddenly there it is

Breath tingling coolly

And mixing with the breeze

My clothes warmed by the sun

Give off a scent of fresh sheets

From my grandmother’s clothesline

Slight sweetness wafts my way

Daffodils or honeysuckle climbing

Some finches warble wildly

And a sleepy owl hushes softly back

Leftover leaves rustle and crunch

Underfoot of bugs or squirrels

No tigers here but large trucks

That speed and rattle past

An emergency siren calls out

A quick train whistle warns

But I am still enough and settling

I do not close my eyes

Granules embedded in the stone

Glisten and wink with the sun

Like sand on a beach, or dying stars

Tree shadows dance on concrete

Darkly contrasting the grey

Then fade as clouds travel by

A chill wins out without the sun for warmth

The season has only just begun

To fight the winter for its arrival

Wind chimes sing out all the while

So I choose one for my bell

I bow to this world

And rise grateful to have been in it

— by me

porch-art-scholzFront Porch by Art Scholz